You may or may not accept it, but rather you can’t live without it. Sex is such. Sparks light and soon there’s flame seething through your loins. From disrobing each other to the sweet climax, sex is a secret that unfurls in various ways for different individuals.
For some it’s lovemaking, for others, it’s their human craving yet sex is difficult to live without. In any case, now and again things happen that make us doubt our concept of engaging in sexual connections in the first place and for some reason, this lament comes complimentary with one night stands.
So we asked around and discovered ten clumsily entertaining one night stand encounters that will make you laugh in pity:
1. Hi, nightmare!
“Had one in Amsterdam. I returned to India, yet we were still in touch. After a month, she revealed to me that she was pregnant and my most exceedingly terrible nightmare came true. I was as yet confounded because what we did couldn’t have gotten her pregnant. Turns out it was with another person, and this was a joke that life played on me.”
2. Thank you, Piggy boy!
“I don’t believe in meeting people on the internet, but this one time I considered trying it and met a person through Facebook. We had a few common friends, so it didn’t appear to be all that strange. We messaged for a month or thereabouts, and the sexual tension was crazy. At last, when we met, we just put it all on the line. Everything was going fine, till he began moaning.
It resembled a pig was snorting. I was quickly turned off, yet at the same time played along. After he had completed, he said ‘thank you, ‘ and that’s the last I heard of him.”
3. The night of smelly horror
“It was at a house party. I met her, and she was totally into me. Everything looked excellent because there was a lot of alcohol and we all had to crash at that place only. However, I think I judged the situation too early.
Everyone has passed out, and she was lying by me. She stunk of alcohol. However, that was alright. It was pitch dull, and we lean forward to kiss. Next thing you know, my face is splashed with something that scents unpleasant.
Yeah, she puked on me and gone out. The next morning, she didn’t recollect a thing!”
4. Houston, we have a problem
“I met a young lady at a party that was for some random reason thrown at my home. We’re both high when she proposes that I walk her home. Things look positive, and I reach her home, which is smelling of something truly horrible. I ignore that, and we begin making out.
During sex, the primary thing she said was ‘Houston; we’re in.’ I thought that she’s nerdy! Then something eerie AF happened. We were done, and she told me that she does brutal things in anger. Casually she mentioned, how she ended up slamming her cat on the wall once.
I was freaking out badly, and after that, she drove me to the balcony, where the dead cat was lying. I made an emergency call to my friend, and we kept running for our lives.”
5. Leave Me, For God Sake!
“There was a guy who was beguiling and super smooth however his name was Pashupati, as in the incarnation of Lord Shiva. When I got super drunk, and we hooked up. Presently I live with the burden that I laid down with somebody called Pashupati.”
6. Rebound turned out wrong
“I had been chatting with this guy for quite a while, and we finally chose to take things forward. It began off well. I was out of a 5-year long relationship, and this was a bounce back of sorts. So we start getting it on. However, it would seem that he doesn’t know what he’s doing. At this point, I’m bored and annoyed. I ask him whether he even realizes what he’s doing. He looks humiliated and finally confesses that it’s his first time.
I’m rather sure I must’ve turned red. I stood up and ran. That is everything I could do. I’m still guilty about it. However, we haven’t talked since. So, that’s fine!”
7. Butt apparently, it was disgusting!
“Hook-ups are all about being impromptu. However, this person I was hooking up with left me in the bed and went to the washroom for a little too long. We continued once he was back, and he proposed that we do something bold and chosen a 69. I put my face where it should be and found a shred of toilet paper stuck between his butt cheeks. It was fucking appalling, man.
That is the thing that put me off one night stands forever!”
8. Goodbye oral sex
“I was with this girl, who was intensely into oral sex. Both giving and taking. She went down on me it fucking knocked my socks off. I was glad to go down south on her. At this point, things have become hot, and I’m doing the best I can to satisfy her. After 5 minutes I feel a puff of air on my face.
Yeah, she farted on my face. I still flinch when I think about it!”
9. The God of Small Things
“So, this guy I met through a friend asks me out for a party. The party was far away from my house. However, I choose to go anyway. After a few drinks, this guy starts making moves. I’m all like ‘We’ll See.’ He leans in and kisses me. I kiss him back. It’s all going great. But then when I put my hand to check whether my efforts have had any effect length-wise, I am shocked!
Bro, nothing. He has this really, really tiny dick. I get so put off that I fake that I’m going to be sick and go to the next room and sleep.”
10. The girl’s got insane eyes
“I met a chick at a friend’s place, and after we both had been quite high, we decided to go to my place. Everything appeared normal. Sex was great, and after that, we got to talking. Since we were both high, we began discussing death and what happens to your body after you pass on and she asks me whether I have ever considered killing anybody. I could sense a dreadful story coming to my way and just shook my head.
She then continued to describe how she has always thought to slaughter somebody by strangling them, with a pillow. Moreover, we were on the bed, there were two pillows around us, and apparently, I was incredibly creeped out. She was looking at me with the insane eyes, and I was confident to the point that I wouldn’t see the sunrise the next day. I turned around and pretended to sleep. After few hours, she left without saying a word.”
And you thought a stand-up comedy video would make you laugh tonight!